Jessica-Ink

So I've been 3Ambitions right from the very start of my use of devaintart but a lot has changed since then.
I no longer care about those original 3 ambitions which i think one was surfing, play guitar and who knows what the 3rd one was!

And so on reflection I'm not the same person I was back then, I've changed, a lots changed so I felt my user name should change as well although tbh I'll probably change it again in January as im still not that keen on the new name and the blog i have is under the name creative rabbit and Im in the middle of making a new website that will act as a portfolio which will also be called the same so if possible my DA name will get changed again too. 

Soooo, well hello, it is October 2013, 10 months on since I last updated! So 2013 is all being well going to be a year that ends well. Nothing much has happened this year and after spending some time away for work it made me realize nothing was going in the direction I intended and that actually I was way off track creatively and career wise so I'm trying to set this straight.
Yes I've had to cancel some amazing holidays to persue this and I'm finally getting someware at work but I'm putting it all on hold but for a good reason.
Jay left his job this year because he was miserable and I think seeing him doing it gave me the push I need to do the same.
I recently had an interview with Chris Webster who is the head of the Masters program in Animation at the University of the West of England. I still have to submit my official application (the paper work and everything I need too submit it is ready) so once the paper work is in and I have an official Yes I will be starting there in January. I've been updating my youtube with films I've done, well the three I've done and on my Gmail profile I've updated it with more photos of my degree work.
The whole point of the Masters is to help me get work experience and really help me promote myself as a set maker and puppet maker. I'm really going to give this my best. Wish me Luck ^_^

well 2012 has come and gone!
It was a boring year indeed for me anyway.
So as most of you know I did get engaged in 2012 in late november/early december (without looking at my diary i cant tell you a date ><) and it has pushed me to be a better person. I need to loose weight and look after myself more. The whole point of marriage other then the loving union part is that you get to spend key time together and so longer i live the better right?
I watched Up the other night and I undersood it better now then I did the first time I saw it.
On the day of my engagement I had a long lovely chat with an elderly man who had just lost his wife and it was actually a wake up call for me. He had adored his wife and she was the love of his life, his friends thought she was wonderful and I could tell he often felt the luckiest man in the world to have this woman in his life, they grew old together and shared many lovely moments and had lots of kids. Her health took an unexpected turn to the worst and I honestly don't think the gentlemen saw it coming. The day she died she was wearing a night gown bought for her by him and his last words to her were "you look so beautiful today" and as he kissed her she passed away. As he told me the story it took ALL my might not to start crying myself because the love and care this man had had for this lady was quite frankly movie worthy and when the call ended I couldn't help but think that if I had even a tenth of the amount of love between me and jay as they had then I would be a very lucky woman because they had true, forgiving, strong,trustworthy, unbreakable love. He called back about 20 minutes later to tell me one last story about his wife, I think he was lonely and for obvouse reasons didn't want to bother his family with his own sorrow when they had lost her too but I was glad he felt he could call back and that he shared those lovely stories with me.
I was also left with a sense of need to make sure that Jay knew that I loved him dearly and like the elderly man and his wife I had chatted with that day, I wanted to grow old with him and share a fun, love filled history. When jay proposed that night I kind of wanted to call the man back to let him know my good news and to tell him thank you for sharing his stories with me. I never did,I'm not sure I'm allowed tbh but that phone call made a difference to me too.
When Jay asked me to marry him I thought of the old man and how lucky I was to be at the start of my journey with Jay and how much I wanted to grow old with Jay, the old man had instilled a bit of a true romantic in me and in a good sense I think.
He had thanked me profusily for the help and patience I had showed him that day but in all honesty it was a pleasure and I wish all the calls I took effected me that way as I'm sure everyone would want my job if they dealt with people like him all the time. It was lovely and inspirational.
I hope he had a good Christmas just as I hope you all had a good Christmas too.
Love is very rarely like the movies but when it is, it brings a little bit of magic into an otherwise flat plot.

Sooo just been a bit of a slow year. Nothings happened that particular exciting. Went to mexico for 12 days and was ill, fainted from heat exhaustion and got badly sun burnt then spent the rest of my time under palm tree's,photographing fish, sea kayaking and taking pain killers whilst painting pottery, that is my holiday in a nutshell. if you want to relax then river maya in mexico is perfect as its just white beaches and palm trees but tbh by day 8 or 9 i was a bit bored.
Back in England now and although I'm still not happy in my job I've made my peace with it. I'm getting on with it, clearing my over draft and out standing debts etc and then in 2013 from about march ish I can really concentrate on me, what I want and progressing personally and professionally. I have requested the 3 day week at work which means I do 3 days a week (duh) but i do my 37 hours in that 3 days, yeaahh that some long days but it gives me 4 days all to myself ^_^ and that's when I can be selfish and start doing what makes me happy.
I might do some volunteering,hit the gym more or finally learn how to use my new sewing machine or start making stop motion models again, learn how to use a stand up paddle board/surf or learn to drive who knows,I could do what ever I wanted. If I had the time and energy I could do all of that stuff in 2013. I know your saying why not right now,why 2013? But I need them to approve the 3 day week first and for me to have cleared off all my debts before I start making big fancy plans I have no real time for. It gets my hopes up over nothing. But if I could do those things I would start feeling happier in myself.
I reached a rock bottom sort of place only about maybe 8 weeks ago ware I just felt miserable, I felt fat and like my money problems were getting a bit stupid and like I just had no time to do anything I wanted but when I did have the time I had no money so I just got really down. I didn't like my job on any level and I just wanted to get out but kept getting turned down every time I tried. it was hard. My cat was ill and I thought he was going to die. He's recovered now but he's ran away which gets to me at times but I'm doing all I can to get it sorted and find him. But as you can see I just wasn't happy with the way my life was going but I've taken a more proactive approach to it all.
     I've decided at work to try harder so I can progress and start actually making something of myself while I'm there so that it makes leaving easier, I mean the better I do in this job the better I look to the next employer. Plus right now I need to sort out the cash flow so I have to work hard to get that squared off and then I can really get on with things and enjoy myself.
      I had a dream I was at a anime convention last night and I was wearing some pretty cool (a little bit skimpy) cosplays and I woke up today thinking I have to make it happen, I felt so great and I looked amazing and my confidence was through the roof. I've gotten fat and now I hate my body and it's ruining so many parts of my life it's ridiculous so I got to get my life in check!
   My health, my money the lot it needs sorting and today I feel ready for it you know. It's time to just get over it and get on with it. Since I started my job I've put on about 4 stone because I've gone from running up and down 6 flights of stairs everyday and going to the gym 3 days a week to nothing, just sitting on my but for 8.5 hours a day,5 days a week so no wonder! So its time to get sorted. I am in charge of my own life and eating habits so i only have myself to blame right now. So its time for a change and it's starting right now
So the end of 2012 is about getting organised and taking small but positive steps towards some big changes ready to have a very cool and truly fulfilling 2013.  I've got a good feeling about it all you know, this is a good starting point and today is no better or worse to start from then tomorrow so lets start now. Somethings like my health I can do something about now so I will. Wish me luck